Learning how to be gracious....

I've been thinking about writing for awhile, but every time I started to write an entry it just didn't feel right. I wanted to create an ode to all the things I'm thankful for, and when I started to think about it the list got longer and longer and each being so in depth they started to feel like they were deserving of their own entry, and that would take years to construct. So I've narrowed it down (slightly) and created a list with snippets of explanation -- none of which will even come close to explaining how grateful I am, but if any of them have to do with you, know that this year was incredible thanks to you. So here we go...

1. My mom - for her love post-its, treats for me, listening to me vent and being basically the best mom ever.
2. My brothers

Each is completely unique and incredibly giving. S for giving my my car and being patient and being a great friend when I need one. J for always talking me up, for making my laugh and helping inspire and build on my ideas. Both are so supportive and I could never thank them enough.
3. C

So giving and loving. Words couldn't even come close to expressing all you've done for me this year.
4. All of my incredible friends. I have SO many wonderful friends. My zero friend Mary, my "sister" Carolyn, my kindred spirit Div, my humor Darci, my Seattle savior Chirag, my reflecting wall
Amanda, my strength Rachel, my mentor Ashley, my heart Michelle, my confidante Adrienne, my cheerleader Carson, my inspiration Wacarra. Just to name a few. I am so, so lucky to have you all. And of course my hundreds of other amazingly wonderful friends that have helped shape the person I am today.
5. Family - My grandparents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles. All have given me so much it would take me 24 years to explain all you've done for me.
6. Susan - she makes me so happy, every single day.
7. My work - as much as I might complain, it's really a great place to work. I'm given great opportunity, respected and treated well. Plus, I work with great people.
8. Lounge music - the joy that Rufus Wainwright, Sinatra, Buble, Regina Spektor, Kate Nash bring me....they make me Merry Happy.
9. Having infinite paths ahead of me - whether it's school or my dreams of becoming a FN star, there is so much opportunity that is just waiting for me. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that.
10. Flowers - I've been given flowers so many times this year and every time they make me so happy!


Okay, I could go on forever, but I don't want to make your mind explode or bore you. So thank you all, for everything. Great year because of your kind, beautiful hearts!

A piece of Paris

C and I walked around the market today and slipped into a store down Virginia that I've never seen before. An adorable accessory store and I'm not sure how I ever missed it. Besides it being tremendously overpriced, it had some fantastically beautiful headbands. Which, of course, you know I love. Since they were $75 a pop, I figured I'd admire them and potentially make some myself. Here's kinda what they looked like..



Since I already have a black one, I figure I could use a red one and perhaps a pink one and another really beautifully ridiculous one. Ah, I love ridiculousness.

When we walked out of the store I stumbled across another store I had never seen before -- tucked away in a courtyard nook, so happily situated I forgot for a moment that I was in Seattle. All of a sudden, I found myself in Paris.




A Parisian soap store, so beautiful, I found myself trolling the aisles sniffing every candle and bar, soaking it all in. The attendant welcomed us, and offered us a mimosa in celebration of their 10 year anniversary.



We sipped on our mimosas, admired artwork and old 1925 watch gadget cuff links, and settled on a candled called "joy" which smells like Christmas and rendered exactly that feeling.

Needless to say, the store was quiet a find and make me well....

...so(ul) happy!


After we left we headed down to the market for a bit longer, and passed by vendors and admired their wares. We headed to Pink Door for a late lunch. Perfect pumpkin pasta, so amazing that I disregarded my better judgement and ate all of it without thinking about the calories. Meh.

We walked down 1st Avenue to The Big Picture to watch the new Bond film. I love Bond films, and while the action was definitely up to par, the plot was lacking and left me aching for the good ol' Pierce.

After the movie we headed back home, picked up a beautiful Audrey Hepburn poster and a coupled used CDS including one from Lynam (one of my favorite garage bands from back home) at Easy Street Records.

And then when I got home I instantly fell asleep for awhile and now...I can't sleep. I'm going to watch American Beauty and try to fall asleep for a early morning brunch with the girls.

Now and then..

A lot of pictures from the past have made their way into circulation in the past couple days, and at first it freaked me out...but then I thought about it. How cool is that people have pictures of me from the days of yesteryear? A girl that I was friends with growing up, but haven't talked to recently posted a picture of me on Facebook yesterday.



Again, freaked me out. I mean when the hell was this taken? What am I doing? Girl Scouts? No she wasn't in my GS troop...uhhh band? Oh God, there are people out there that have pictures of me in BAND. How embarrassing.


But, then there were really good pictures from old school times. My aunt passed along a picture today that made me feel a little nostalgic...either that or miss my family. Anyway, here it is:




So, anyone else out there have random pictures of me they'd like to pass along? I'd love to see them...with the exception of anything you have to share, Mom. I don't need to see those, and neither does anyone else.

Anyway, good night.

GMATTACK

...I'm trying to spend a bit more time studying for my GMAT that is rapidly approaching, but I have to admit, I'm finding it really hard. I need to learn to go somewhere where I don't have Internet connection, where I can't watch television and leave the iPhone behind and I need to do it soon. I'm having a really hard time with some of the math concepts, because well, I haven't really used math in the past 5 years. At least not the kind I need to know in order to pass this exam.

If you didn't take math courses in college(I took one, literally uno), the math section of the test is especially important to excel in, since it is the only way the school you're applying to can see if you measure up. As it stands right now, I don't quite measure up. And when I finally really accepted that fact last night, I nearly had a GMATtack-probably the worst kind of panic attack possible. Luckily, I had my friend come over to watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 in order to calm my nerves and completely distract me from studying. Oh, yes, I'm a hero.

Anyway, if I don't kick it into gear soon, I promise you can take my GMAT books and beat me with them as long as you call an ambulance so I can get some fast stitches.

Thank you very much for your poll votes. It looks as though you proved my boyfriend wrong, which I thoroughly enjoy. Hmph.

Side note: A poll..

Okay, quick poll readers:



Do I look mad or focused? Please comment back your thoughts.

A fear from deep within..

As I was walking through Seattle's early morning fog/mist this morning on my way to work, on a day like any other, I saw it - something I find so disturbing that it makes my skin crawl just to think about it. To the normal person, you might think, "You're such a weirdo, what the heck is wrong with you?" But to me, seeing the bushy tail gray squirrel with it's big teethy fangs, running all over the tree in it's rabies-crazed behavior says one thing - "Beware."

It's true, I'm scared of squirrels..not in the same way you'd be scared of someone coming into your house in the middle of the night, or even walking through a dark alley allow, but it's the unpredictability of them that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. It started a long time ago and it began with ferrets. I mean, I HATE ferrets and in my mind the two critters are closely aligned and simply up to no good.

Countless stories I've read on the Internet or experience first hand have validated my fear time and time again -- my friend was hospitalized from squirrel bites once, not that I have any sympathy because she was stupid enough to keep it as a pet, but whatever. My classes at UA were once canceled for 3 days because a squirrel gnawed through the power lines, causing a major outage. Up to no good, I tell you.

But seeing that squirrel on the way to work this morning got me thinking about irrational fears, and I realized I have A LOT of them. Some of them I wasted a tremendous amount of time worrying about them when I can't control them, and others are just something I need to get over.

* Fear of the economy (like I can do a damn thing about it, all I can do is hoard away my money and hope for the best).
* Fear of feet(used to be ridiculously bad a few years ago, but I'm pretty much over it)
* Fear of failing (the good news is that I'm the turnkey element to determining my success)
* Fear of not figuring out what I want to do in life (okay, does anyone really know? Please, tell me?)
* Fear of never seeing the world (...I can make this happen...eventually)
* Fear of never being near my family again (Again, I can make this happen, just take time)
* Fear of the unknown (Ah, yes. Completely irrational. Good, Jessica, good.)
* Fear of spiders (Okay, I'm not calling this one irrational. It's perfectly legit. And I'm convinced it's the way I'm going out. Spider bite, right to my heart.)
* Fear of not leaving a legacy (Okay, here's the good news...I have lots of great friends, who talk about me on occasion, so if I don't have one after a spider comes to kill me, at least I have people talking about me while I'm alive.
* Fear of lack of knowledge (I'm just afraid of being the dumb one, not knowing, needing to be the one in the know all the time, it's hard to keep up)
* Fear of missing America's Next Top Model (it's on tomorrow night and I have a PRSA meeting, God help me!)

As you can see, mostly irrational or something I just need to get the hell over. And I will, I hope, all in good time.

A new haircut

Writing my first entry via iPhone so let's get straight to it---I need a haircut bad. Now you're probably thinking "what are you talking about Jess your hair is the cutest EVER." While that might be true, I am not talking about my hair...I need a professional haircut. A little bit of time in the business etiquette salon would do me good.

It's not that I perceive myself as rude, or a bad professional... its just that I need to snip the edge off my "know-it-all" attitude that has recently grown because if I don't, it's going to get me into trouble.

It's hard after working somewhere for nearly two years (can you believe I've been here for almost two years?!) to not have that matter-of-fact attitude. But with more and more articles reigning in about job loss and the economy, it seems like professionalism (and if clients love you) is the only think that is keeping people employed. Now, I haven't seen job loss close to me, none of my friends have lost their job and while the Seattle economy certainly isn't booming, it's not getting the blow as hard as the rest of the country (at least it seems that way). But something tells me it's only a matter of time before the wave crashes on the Seattle shores and knocking people out along the way.

I'm want to become a better professional for myself, though. I want to tidy up because I'm worth improving, becoming a better me is worth every effort. I want to become a better professional because people expect it from me and more importantly, I expect it from me.

So give me a little bit of time to chop off some spilt ends, and I'll be coming out with a fresh new 'do.

oops! Veteran Day side note

Before I hop off to enjoy my Puffins, I wanted to thank all of you veterans for giving your time and lives to help protect us -- most importantly my wonderful brother, S. He was in the Navy for 8 years of active duty, and I believe (I need to call him to confirm) he went into the recruiter yesterday to sign up to be in the reserves. He is what you would call, my hero.

Of course, thank you as well to my wonderful Nonno who served in the military for years as well during the Korean War and Lord knows what else.

To my friend, T, who has already gone through one tour in Iraq and will soon go back for more.

To my friends N and M who guarded in a dangerous area in Djibouti while they served as Marines, thank you.

To my friend J, who has gone through two tours in Iraq -- thank you.

To the gentleman, W, I interviewed when he won $1 Million in the Lottery and is now serving his third tour in the guard in Iraq - thank you.

And to all other militia, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Happy Birthday C...and thank you Veterans, including my brother S

I've been awake for hours...while I had my alarm set earlier than normal this morning (around 5:30ish), my precious darling cat Susan decided at 5:23 am that she wanted to check and see if my eye lids tasted as good as she remembered -- I hope they did, because I was only slightly amused. It is hard to get mad, though, even at 5:23 am when you're greeted with the most adorable little face that looks like this


Now I might be a biased cat lover, but Susan Belle is freaking adorable, yes? Anyway, once I saw that face the frustration quickly subsided and I just closed my eyes and let her have her way with my eye lids. *sigh*

Today is C's birthday. Because he is incapable of waiting, he's already opened all of his presents and eaten some of his cake -- so we did a good portion of the celebrating last night. I got him a Pentax 1000 35mm camera, a flash for it, some film, a book on becoming the best photographer ever and a couple other little treats. Tonight we're going to La Carta de Oaxaca (http://www.lacartadeoaxaca.com/), which claims to be some of the best Mexican food in Seattle. Apparently the place is packed all the time, and don't even bother calling for a reservation because they don't answer their phone EVER. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Alright, we'll it's Puffin (http://www.worldpantry.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/ProductDisplay?prmenbr=587770&prrfnbr=892330&pcgrfnbr=881894) time! I suggest you go out and get your own box, and some raspberries too...and maybe some Splenda Mist (which is totally my new favorite thing and I got my sample bottle for free thanks to Hungry Girl...check this out and you might be able to snatch a bottle still:http://www.totallyfreestuff.com/index.asp?ID=18076). Basically the COOLEST thing ever.

Alright, I'm out.

Holding on to the weekend...

It amazes me every week how quickly weekends pass by, and I always wish they were longer, there was more of them, that I was less busy on weekends so I could sit on my death couch (yes, I still have that god forsaken thing) and watch hours and hours of mindless programming. Ah, yes, that's what I call being productive.

I am fortunate enough to seemingly (at least lately) always have really enjoyable weekends. Friday night C and I went to go watch our friend perform in Bat Boy at the Second Story theater in Redmond. She was incredible. The play, if you're familiar is a little over the top and based on the Weekly World News tabloid reports in the early 1990s. Although full of blood, violence, incest and interspecies sex....it was perfect. After the show we went with a few of the cast members to McMenamins.

Yesterday C and I walked around downtown and went to lunch with a couple of our friends at Pike Brewery. I got a new pair of jeans from Nordstrom Rack, and then we headed home to get ready for C's birthday dinner with his dad and step mom at Metropolitan Grill. We took a ridiculous limo that looked something like this



and had an inside cabin like this



down to the restaurant. Food was amazing. I had ahi tuna, calamari, the most outstanding halibut I've ever had and these garlic mashed potatoes that basically I would sacrifice my right eye for. Okay, no I take that back, I really wouldn't but they were very good.

Today some how managed to slip by quickly -- Sundays always do that. I build them up with the best intentions to clean, study, do research on graduate schools...and it never f'ing happens. I have to get it together or I'm never going back to school. But because I always end up so unproductive on Sundays I always wish the weekend was longer, if I had just one more day to get it done...I hold on so tight to them...dreading yet another manic Monday. Man, I'm already getting a super bad case of the Mondays.

Anyway, so holding on to the weekend today got me thinking...it's not the weekend I'm trying to hold on to, it's just a past life in general, a life where things make sense...I feel like I haven't had that in awhile. Okay, okay, not that my life isn't good because it is -- I have an amazing bf, great friends here, a completely insane and adorable cat, a good job where I'm respected...I don't know, it's just so hard to evolve. Hard to watch my friends evolve on complete opposite sides of the country, hard to not be near my family and evolve together...just hard. But after holding on to weekend after weekend, I finally decided today to let go. I'm missing so much life by spending time revisiting the past instead of living in my the present and planning for my future. Hopefully learning to let go is something I'll be able to hold on to.. I'll let you know next weekend.

The Times They Are A Changin'

So it might be 45 years since Bob Dylan wrote one of his most famous songs, but with Obama being our new president-elect and his campaign for "change", this song keeps coming to mind. I thought I'd put it to the test line by line to see if it holds any relevance today, or if I'm just trying to be deep. Or if I just love Bob Dylan, which I do. Alright, here we go.

Come gather 'round people - Yes, that works for today, people can still gather 'round. To make it more timely, our opposing political parties need to gather together.

Wherever you roam - People all over the nation, yes good.

And admit that the waters
Around you have grown - With global warming the ice caps are melting, making more water. Hah, okay, yes we have a rift in our nation.

And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone. - If you live in the Pacific Northwest you're always drenched to the bone, Bobby. But knowing you grew up in MN, you probably weren't referencing that.

If your time to you
Is worth savin' - We just had daylight savings time to do this very thing!
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone - Uhhh....
For the times they are a-changin'. - OBAMA!

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen - Political analysts? Journalists? Everyone interested in the election?
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again - You can only cast your vote once, or something.
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin - it kind of stopped spinning yesterday, although I guess my life is still spinning. To MBA or not to MBA?
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'. - It named Obama...and MBA? Or.....no MBA?...MBA? Dizzy...
For the loser now - MBA?...No...McCain?
Will be later to win - Palin?! God, no.
For the times they are a-changin'. - OBAMA!

Come senators, congressmen - McCain, Obama
Please heed the call - "Run for president!"
Don't stand in the doorway - French doors are becoming more popular on HGTV, maybe to solve this problem. It'd be hard for someone to block two doors...
Don't block up the hall - Thanks to WW, I lost enough weight to no block too many hallways..
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled - uhhh...stalling...please no one hit me. Oh wait, I got it! McCain postponing campaigning to "help with the economic crisis." Analysts are saying it's one of his biggest campaign mistakes. That and Palin.
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'. - Raining a little bit outside...imagine that. Rain in Seattle? No f'ing way.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls - Susan, my precious cat keeps running into the walls ans rattling them a bit. At least rattling my nerves.
For the times they are a-changin'. - OBAMA!

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand - Okay, I took this one four lines. Actually really relevant. Not that my mom is critical at all, she's lovely. But my mother and father are on the other side of the land, and my dad mentioned his varying political stance...
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command - and my mom, while she is lovely, is a mom who is learning to mother an adult daughter. I think it's an ongoing learning curve, poor mom.
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'. - Uhhh...parts of my street could definitely stand to be repaved. And so could our economy.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand - Hm.
For the times they are a-changin'. - OBAMA!

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast - Maybe some witchy people casting spells on people on Halloween? Uh, nevermind.
The slow one now
Will later be fast - I'm getting tired....but tomorrow morning...I'll be so fast all you'll see is blur biznitches.
As the present now
Will later be past - ...that ellipses was written...in the past.
The order is
Rapidly fadin'. - I am too....
And the first one now
Will later be last - I'm pretty sure I lost my own challenge to be deep at this point...damn it. Maybe if I just get a fresh thought on it tomorrow...I'll come up with something so totally thought provoking it will BLOW YOUR MIND.
For the times they are a-changin'. - OBAMA!

Okay, good night. Sorry you had to endure that. Very, very, very sorry.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN - CONGRATS CONTEST WINNER!

Happy Halloween to you all! A very exciting day here in the rainy city, filled with, well, rain.

After much deliberation, my mother has chosen a contest winner. It wasn't easy, we had a number of super scary photographs!

Here's what dear ol' mom had to say about our winner:

"Um hey so, not one of those photos comes close to the gruesomeness of your picture that you took...I mean that picture will never be matched. But of the group...Vida would be the kinda of 'cute-scary.' The runner up would be the last picture of Amanda (she submitted three), but you can tell she's clearly beautiful."

So VIDA is our winner! What has he won? He's won an awesome gift certificate to Amazon along with some other great prizes. Amanda might be getting something too, for putting forth such effort.

Once I receive permission from our winner and runner-up, I'll post those winning pictures up on the site for all to see.

Thank you for your submissions. Be safe and have a great Halloween.

Last day to enter contest..

Hi everyone, just wanted to remind you that today is the last day to enter in the worst picture of you contest! Please submit your photograph to jessica.randazza@gmail.com by midnight PST tonight to qualify!

All images will be judged by my mother!

Being Southern

I wonder when the "pride" associated with being Southern is going to wear off. It's strange that I adore it so much and I feel the need to fit it in to every conversation that I'm engaged in. I'm sure it's bo-ring to people, but that's alright. I'm okay with it. Here's just a few things I love about the South:

* Sweet Tea - especially of the Milo's persuasion
* College Football - I just love the enthusiasm of the fans and the energy surrounding it
* Etiquette - it's like these people in Seattle never learned how to say "please" and "thank you"!
* The style - Vera Bradley purses, pearls with sorority t-shirts, cardigan sweaters...I love it all
* Fried food - I don't care what you say, they fry EVERYTHING better in the South
* Autumn - while autumn or the fake season that is autumn in Seattle is lovely, it's done much better in the south.
* My family is there - ah, I miss them.

Alright, I am going to go. But as Miss Scarlett would say, "Tomorrow is another day."

LBD and a cup of tea...or a teapot

Good evening all, I hope this finds you well. I'm feeling surprisingly upbeat even though it's 11:25 on a school night, my cat is meowing her head off in a desperate painful moan (I have NO idea why) and I have to be to work in t-minus 7 hours. That's okay, you can't ruin my chipperness.

Okay, hang on, wait...Susan is getting close. I need to do something about that cat, she's such a whiner. Okay, she's now sitting next to me acting semi-normal. Let's see how long it la-okay, she's gone. Ugh. No. I'm chipper tonight. FREAKING CHIPPER.

So, I went out to dinner with C and his mom and her boyfriend tonight for her birthday celebration. They are such wonderful, warm people. C's mom reminds me exactly of my best friend, M's mom, who I actually just got an e-mail from today. Anyway, we went out to Hi-Life for dinner (Susan's back and laying on the keyboard, so pardon any typos). It was so wonderful. I went there a few weeks ago, as you might recall, with some folks and wasn't very enthusiastic about it. On second try, it was really really incredible. I got ahi tuna, so perfect, amazing. I also got mashed sweet potatoes because I was trying to stay healthy -- I'm pretty sure they were mashed with butter and cream because OMG they were FANTASTIC. Wait, fatastic? Hahahhaha. Oh gosh. They were yummy and totally worth whatever number of calories they plopped on my body. So get there and eat them...and bring me some to-go.

C's mom is one of those people that loves everything you give her, but thanks to my own Mom, I think we gave her a pretty f'ing cute gift. You can steal this idea for your own mother's or someone else's if you'd like. So we got a tea pot and some flowers from the store, cut down the stems and made the teapot into a vase and then gave her some loose tea to go with it. How cute is that?? I think pretty cute and she l-o-v-e-d it.

I've been stressing out ridiculous amounts about this birthday party I have to go to on Saturday for C's cousin. It is "formal" attire, but I mean, what does that mean? I don't know. So I thought, "formal attire...prom dress? Sorority formal gown? Cocktail? Baahhh!" I went to two different Ross stores looking (I didn't want to spend alot) then finally asked my friend B if she had any I could borrow. Turns out, a LBD (little black dress for you not "in" people) was the perfect solution. Check this out:




Ow, ow. Alright, I'm out.

Nutrition...hm, it makes sense plus contest update!

So last night at running group we had a nutritionist come in and if what she says it true, it looks like I am deficient basically all across the board. Here's what I learned last night, sorry if you already know all this info:

* Drinking two cups of green tea (hot or cold) a day will boost your metabolism by 20percent
* Drinking two cups of green tea before your work out will put you into fat burning mode immediately
* I'm anemic (ok, I already knew that...)
* I'm protein deficient (which I sensed I was), the sign of protein deficiency is craving carbs and sweets...which I do ALL the time and I didn't before about 3 months ago so there you go.
* I'm vitamin D deficient...and if you're living in Seattle with me, chances are you are too. We just don't get enough sunlight up here above San Fran, the two weeks of summer just don't cut it. Period.
* I'm healthy fat deficient (I don't really know what the terminology was for this). I should be eating more coconut oils, avocado and olive oils than I do to help with my energy stores.

So I'm going to go to the doctor and get my lab work done and then I'm going to see her to figure out how I can fix myself. I just need a little bit of direction. Anddddd she takes insurance! I have a feeling I'm going to feel a lot better SOON.


****CONTEST UPDATE*****

Things are heating up on the contest front. I've received several ssscccarrrrrry pictures from you folks. So scary in fact, I want to give you all a prize! But I can't, only one will be named winner. Keep sending me your photos, folks. I promise, you WANT to win this prize.

So I mentioned the worst picture ever..please don't cry.

In my contest post, I mentioned the worst picture I've ever taken in the history of my life. My mom was nice enough to take it out of the frame in her living room and scan it for me to share with all of you. I will NOT be using this photograph in my contest, because let's be honest. That would be really unfair. I'd automatically win because I'm pretty sure none of you could trump this. In my friend CP's words "you look like michael jackson/a burn victim." I'll be sure to use a photograph I took this year to be on an equal playing field.

Background on this photograph. It was taken the day of my high school graduation, I was really upset about graduation/boyfriend break up and I like to look at myself when I'm crying/upset to see how ugly I look. And well, it's pretty ugly.

Anyway...enjoy.



Jesus, that makes me want to cry. Anyway, I have received 4 submissions today most of which were weak. Get to work people. You want to win this prize. I promise, it's good.

Contest additions

* Winner will be named on Oct. 31.
* All entries must be received by Oct. 30, please send to my gmail at jessica.randazza@gmail.com.

Good luck!

Most wonderful time of the year...*Time for a contest*

Ah, you feel that? The cold chill in the air, the wind breezing by rubbing it's icy hands against your rosy cheeks? It's finally here, it's autumn.

You've probably heard before that Seattle has two seasons: rain and non-rain. Which is almost true. We have more like two and a half seasons: rain, non-rain and foreboding overcast (frequently refer to in other parts of the country as fall). As the leaves begin to change and fall to the ground, the winter clouds sweep in and over the sky of Seattle, letting you know the weary weather is rapidly approaching...here's your 15 day (give or take) warning.

While Seattle has the absolutely most fantastic summers in the entire world, this quick "season" is by far my favorite. Pulling sweaters out of the drawers, putting on my boots, it's strangely satisfying.

This "season" brings with it corn mazes (I went on Friday to Stockard Farms with some friends to wander the maze...or maize...hahah..oh me), pumpkin carving (did that yesterday and lost big time...but as you know I'm incapable of anything crafty a list of which now includes: gingerbread houses, egg dying and now pumpkin carving. If I can't make a proper turkey hand drawing come Thanksgiving I'll let you all know that I've reached a new level of...well...failure. Stay tuned.), wonderful hearty food and of course Halloween.

Halloween has long since been my favorite holiday (with the exception of my birthday). I mean think about it, what the hell is not to love? Dressing up as someone else, eating too much candy, scaring people...ah, perfect.

So I thought in order to get into the holiday spirit I would ask my lovely readers to humor me in a contest. The scariest picture *of you* contest. I am pretty sure I'm going to win, so just a heads up, but if any one is interested in being a judge, let me know. Reason for the contest is simple: One, its Halloween. Two, I don't know about you guys, but I've spent all year taking scary horrible unattractive photographs (most of which were by accident) and now is the time to put those babies to work. Don't be ashamed of your awful pictures, folks, its all for the spirit of contest. And like I said, I'm sure I'm going to win. In fact, I have in my past taken a picture that was so absolutely horrible, that it scared my own MOTHER and she now has it framed and for display in her living room. Everytime anyone ever sees it they cry because they're so scared. No joke, true f'ing story.

I look forward to your entries! And remember, you're doing it for the spirit of competition and of course to make me happy....which I know is exactly what all of you live for.

Life in the fast lane...

When, Lord, am I going to learn to say no? I swear, I bite off way more than I can chew too often which is exactly why I had to do Weight Watchers in the first place. I'm juuuuuu ustttttttttt kidding.

One of my PR friends, C, gave me a emery board set that has a case that says "stop me before I volunteer again." Such true words. I am what you call an over doer. I like being busy, but I when I find myself picking up the pace and starting to be busy, I just push it to the nth degree.

I was lucky enough to have yesterday off and so I headed up to Northgate to talk to WW ladies about becoming a leader. I've wanted to become a leader for awhile, but I could never make the initial meeting and after talking with the ladies I'm really excited about beginning. I l-o-v-e my leader and I hope that the people that come to my meetings will feel the same. The commitment isn't too bad, about 5 hours a week. Definitely a commitment I'm willing to make.

I've also begin initial training for the marathon, a commitment I'm finding myself less and less...well...commited to. I talked to my running coach tonight and she said since it's my first go at it that I need to plan to get 3 halves in before tackling the marathon to be sure it's something I really want to do...ugh. She said to give myself a year of training instead of the 7 months I was originally hoping for. LAME. I'm going to try to stay on track though. Send me your good thoughts.

As I've begin plans for next year...which...here's the big reveal...who's ready??!? I'm planning.....I'm plannnnnnnnnnningggggggggg to gooooooooooo back...to.....school! Graduate school, in what, I don't know. I just know that I want to go back and I want to do something that I enjoy doing. So I'm beginning GMAT studying to get that dream going. The trouble is I keep reading more and more about how I'm never going to get financial support/aid in this blasted economy and that I should wait a couple years. I don't want to wait. So I'm going to study and hope that I kick f'ing a on the test and get amazing scholarships. I need more good thoughts please and thank you.

I'm really trying to use my spare time to think about how to improve myself, what I can do to enrich my life and I've been doing a fairly good job of it. I hand-sewed another pillow (I'll post pictures when I finish the final edge), I am reading Miss Manners, reading about politics, writing and making new healthy recipes. I'm feeling pretty good, better than I have in a very long time.

But, as the sun sets earlier and earlier (it's pitch black here in Seattle until 7:00 am and then dark again around 6:15 pm) I'm trying to stay active. As many of you know I have pretty bad seasonal affect disorder, it's important to find ways to stay active. So, thus, the busyness...catch 22.

Anyway, I'm tired. Night.

Easily discouraged...

Ah, the inspirational blog of yesteryear can only last so long until I'm feeling back in the dumps again. I need to learn some positive self talk and use it more often, instead of the "I'm a failure, I'm fat, yadda yadda." It's amazing you all have listened to me as long as you have. Here's some positive self talk for one little lost lady in Seattle:

*Ahem*

* H, the president of my company, told me yesterday that I am the cutest dresser she's ever seen and she wants to go shopping with me. "You put clothes together like no one I know and it's always SO cute."
* As crappy as I've been eating for the past whatever amount of time, there is still something I can do about it. I can kick this. I can get back on top, starting first thing tomorrow (since it's girl's night tonight and we're having fondue).
* My hair cut is really cute. Most of you haven't had a chance to see how cute my new do is, but I've gotten lots of snaps. And, well hell, I like it.
* I'm witty. I mean, there are so many people out there (none of you, you're all lovely people) that don't have a spark of humor in them. Bo-RING.
* I have excellent health and I've lost 35 lbs this year. That f'ing means something.
* I have great family, great friends and a wonderful b/f. That must mean I'm doing something right. Well, I suppose the family just happened, but the rest...I did that so *snaps*
* My pedicure looks DAMN good.
* I'm a doer. If I make a plan and really want it to happen it gets done. It's just making sure I'm striving for things that I really want seems to be the trick.
* I'm busy. I'm busy with friends, with activities, with constant things to do and I love it.
* I have a cute cat that might drive me crazy, but she snuggles me and loves me above everyone else -- sorry C, but you know she does.
* I've had more opportunities than most. I'm talented at what I do (regardless of whether I love it or not), I'm GOOD at it. And that means something. FYI, I have an article coming out in the Oct. 13 issue of Woman's World magazine, so pick up a copy.
* I'm reading Miss Manners right now so I can cross the "Become more Southern" thing off my bucket list. Now if I only knew how to make grits.....

As hard as things are now, as easily discouraged and depressed as I sometimes allow myself to be when I read about our economic struggles, or interact with the mean girl at work, I have a lot going for me. And that means something. That means that I still reside in the House of Awesome.

Marathon running inspiration

I spend an awful lot of time thinking thoughts of worthlessness and how many struggles I endure..."woe is me, woe is me" thoughts. What an f'ing waste of time. If I spent 1/2 the time that I spending thinking those thoughts then I could basically rule the world. Or at least run for Vice President...hah, just kidding.

It's true that I do spend a lot of time dreaming about things, "what if I did x, what if I did z, that'd be awesome." But I never put those into action. It turns out I might have been looking for some inspiration to kick me into gear...fortunately, I finally found it.

I went this weekend down to Portland to watch my good friend W run her first marathon, which may have been one of the most incredible things I've seen ever. My friend has gone through a huge transition this year, going from non-runner to marathon heroine, she's become my very own self-help book. Not that she needs help, just that she's helpful....anyway. She ran the marathon in an incredible 5:03, staying consistent the entire time. As she ran around a corner in mile 21 and we were there to cheer her on, it occurred me that I really want to have that kind of experience. Not just friends cheering me on, but having that kind of emotional roller coaster, setting out for a very visible goal and making it happen.

I'm fortunate that I'm already in a running group every Tuesday and we're training for a 10k at the end of November, that's when I figure I'll start training for the marathon. I think it will be an incredible experience, obviously an exhausting one, but I think it might be just the thing to get me through the winter.

Thanks, W, for being such an inspiration and congratulations! Hopefully it's only a matter of time until you can say congratulations to me!

Oh me, oh my

Congress rejected the bail out bill. 700 points the Dow dropped so far. Gives me anxiety, but as my mom puts it, "it's a waste of time to stress about things you have no control over, it prevents you from taking care of things you do have control over." So with that, I'm going to try my best not to spend too much time thinking about it even though I'm worried. Moving on...

Had a good weekend. Friday we watched the debate at the Great Nabob with a bunch of friends where I met a couple of my friend W's friends and they said the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me, coming from someone I don't know anyway. They said that I'm the most beautiful person they've ever seen. How they see that, I'm not sure, but man is that a nice thing to hear on a Monday morning.

After the debate C and I headed to the Showbox to watch Blue Scholars, which is hip hop music. Now, as most of you know I HATE hip hop, but we ran into our friend R and hung out and had a pretty good time. But, I don't think I need to go to another hip hop concert for a long while.

Saturday I baked some banana bread (3 loafs!) and C and our friend came over and knitted. Watched Enchanted (I L-0-V-E that movie).

We ushered at the UW game on Sat night and Sunday we hiked Tiger mountain. 3 miles straight up and considered a "beginners course". I almost died I was so exhausted. Every muscle in my whole body feels like jell-o. It was kind of ridiculous how hard it was and of course we had old men running past us up the mountain like it was no big thing. Ugh. My favorite part was when we got to the top of the mountain we sat down to have a snack and there were birds flying around the trees and the flew down and sat on our hands to eat our food. It was actually really cool. Here's some pics:


View from the top


Me walking...



The bird in C's hand.

Alright, I'm off to go avoid reading CNNmoney.com.

It's the eye of the tiger...or me anyway..

What a freaking week. Literally massive insanity.

My mom came last Tuesday and right before she arrived I poked myself in the cornia with a sharp corner of some thin cardboard. It caused enough damage for me to miss work Wed - Fri, not be able to leave the house to do anything fun with my mom at all, and I had to go to the doctor on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

It was awful. I have slight blurr and kinda squintiness to my eye but seems like I'll heal just fine. My eye anyway, my heart is still broken and will take some time to fix again. Probably until I see mom again. :(

It was nice to have her here and while we didn't really do anything, it was nice just to be with mom doing nothing. She's such a wonderful mother. We talked in length about my future and I think I'm getting there I'm actually extremely excited about the direction I think I'm taking it and when I have more definitives I'll let you know. Just know it's big! And it's going to allow me to cross off some of the things on my bucket list which freaking rocks my face off. Soooo pumped. I'll let you soon soon soon.

So...I started a women's running group with my friend K and we ran part of Greenlake today. It was nice, I like our coach. Done through Titlenine.com and seems to be well organized. It's 8 weeks long, some girl bonding time and running will do me some good. Especially as the weather starts to turn to..well...Seattle.

I've got to head off to bed, but stay tuned...big news to come...but for right now, the secret is tucked away much as I am in this bucket....



...don't worry, I'll come busting out soon.

100th entry....

After a year and a half of blogging, I finally have reached my 100th entry. Many of you have followed my blog since it's inception and I wanted to sincerely thank you for continually wasting your time reading the vat of nothingness that is the A Day in the Life of Seattle blog. You all are swell.

A few things:

* Those of you interested in the P & P tour to England please let me know. I think I could organize a group of people to take the trek the rolling hills of the lake counties, Darnesha the great estate of Pemberley:

http://www.britishtours.com/prideandprejudice.html
http://janeaustenfantrips.com/Sept._2008_Tour.html

Looks fantastic, yes? Who's with me? No, I'm serious. Who wants to go?

This weekend:

Was good. I went out to Anthony's with C and his dad/step mom on Friday night and had a lovely dinner. Ahi tuna was delish!

Saturday we tooled around and I went shopping with my friend for her new job that started today, we basically took over H & M for a good bit, but found her some great deals, so that's nice. Yay.

Went out to dinner on Saturday night at Maggie's Bluff, which I love because of it's incredible view.

Sunday went up to C's dad's for a bit, then to a tourism trade show and picked up some AWESOME deals (a FULLY all inclusive, meaning also plane ticket, to Beijing for $600! I mean, wHAHHHHHT?? For 8 days! Who wants to go?) I also signed up for a bunch of sweepstakes to win a trip, so hopefully I'll be jetting off to Tahiti soon. I'll let you know what shakes out.

We went over to C's mom's house for dinner last night. She and her boyfriend are doing a house exchange with an American couple that live in Costa Rica and we went over to meet them last night. Weird but nice people. They told me I should move to Budapest, Prague, Paris or some where in Spain. I believe then because they've seen the world over. I need to find a job where I can do that kind of thing. Seriously. Everyone start craigslisting for me, please.

Alright, I need to work.

More bucket list...

I'm in Los Angeles right now for a new business pitch. I'm so lucky to be thought so well of at work to come to something like this. It says something about me, or at least that's what people tell me. I have the tendency to beat myself up though, when I'm in levels that require professionalism. I always think I'm the biggest idiot in the room. Which tonight, was probably true. Imagine yourself in the room with the following people:

* Co-creater/conceptor/voice of Teenage Mutane Ninja Turtles and co-starter of MSN, plus a bunch of other things.
* The EVP of my company in the USA division. He discovered Jared of Subway. Need I say more?
* The president of my office. She an articulate woman, a genius, winner of many awards, the person I want to be some day. Seriously, she's scary, she's powerful, she's my hero.
* One of the Vice Presidents of my company that is a strategic planning/event genius. He's loved by every client he ever interacts with.

And then there is me....they were hesitating as we were practicing on how to introduce me. "What do we say about Jessica......" they asked. "Uhh...she's...she has a blog!" That's true, I do. You're succumbing to that misery right now you poor smuck. "Uhhh, would you say you understand social media, Jessica?" Yes. Actually, I do. I take pride in my social media knowledge, but wait...what's twitter again? I'mmmmmmmmm justtttttttt kiddding.

So on the plane down I continued my bucket list. Here's a bit more...of course there is more to come. And I'll update you as I take on each of these scripted life challenges.



25. Featured in if not star of television show.
26. Discover an educational passion and go back to school to pursue it.
27. Read more books. I’ve always wanted to become more engaged in literature, history and science to gain a better understanding of our world but admittedly I’m lazy – I can change that, thank you Seattle Public Library Card.
28. Create a financial life plan. There are so very many things that I want to do (as you can see from my list), but many of them require financial means. By creating a better plan of attack on my budget I could probably get them done more quickly.
29. Create a cookbook of some of my favorite family recipes. My family is all exquisite culinarians and I’d like to be able to learn from their skills.
30. Create a cookbook with my mother. We want to compile all of the great recipes that have helped us along the WW path.
31. Pay my brother Shawn back. He bought my car so needless to say, I owe him A LOT of money.
32. Become better organized. My mom or C can attest to my pack rat nature and misplaced brain so I often forget important dates, information, etc. Bad way to live life, but something I can fix.
33. Grow a garden. Once I have a place I can plant things, I think I should like to have my own little garden.
34. Give back to children in need. I’m not sure what this could mean yet, but I think I’d like to be a Fresh Air sponsor, CASA volunteer, foster parent or even adoptive parent. There are just so many kids out there that deserve sunshine.
35. Go to India with my friend D.
36. See my Nonna’s name at Ellis Island.
37. Take a glass blowing class.
38. Make a conscious effort to be kinder. I don’t know if you’d agree, but I find that the people I’m often the most hurtful to are they people that are closest to me. That’s by no means the type of person I want to be. This world can always use a little bit more kindness.
39. Visit the tulip festival in Victoria, B.C. or Burlington, WA. Why the heck do I miss it every year? I love tulips.
40. Go to Oktober fest.
41. Walk along the Great Wall.
42. Find patience. While I wouldn’t call myself an impatient person by any means, I certainly have certain limits…such as children on planes. I’m currently on a plane right now to Los Angeles and if this kid doesn’t stop kicking my seat I swear to Go-okay, breathe patience. Yes, good idea.
43. Bulk up my fun. While I think my life has been filled with good times, I spend a fair amount of time watching television instead of going out and doing everything this world has to offer. Fun could mean getting involved in YPN (Young Professionals Network through Chamber of Commerce) or Toastmasters or a painting class, just something. I want fun and I want it in bulk.
44. Accept my past. While I think much of my past history doesn’t impede in my personal growth, I know I harbor a lot of negative feelings. I don’t need those bad feelings anymore, they can go.
45. Learn to play an instrument (piano and/or guitar). I can play flute and I can play chop sticks on piano, a couple items on guitar. I would really like to learn though. Especially since I can’t sing. It’s my only hope for being musically inclined.
46. Don’t allow myself to languish in unhappiness. Far too many people let themselves be miserable and I don’t ever want to do that. Whether it’s work or personal, being miserable just is definitely not worth it.


Okay, bed time.

24 is the new me

...Friday came a lot quicker than I thought it would. It's not that the week went by quicker than normal or anything, it seems as though life is speeding up quick a bit faster than I had anticipated and all of a sudden I'm 24 years old, a supposed "adult" in society, making a living and far away from home.

Birthdays traditionally are a time to reflect and think about what you've done, what you should have done, what you could have done and what you should do to improve on the upcoming year of your life. Then it hit me -- I just need to *DO* something. Anything. It occur ed to me that while I've always had the intent to make it big or do something grand, I rarely put those plans into action or do the leg work/research to make them happen. I'm a big talker and no longer a doer. I have to tell you that SUCKS.

So, I've decided to start a list of things I want to accomplish before this life is through. Ideally I'll come up with 101 really great ideas, but I'm not going to close it off to that because, well, there's a big world out there and a lot of stuff I want to do. So my list begins.....

1. Live abroad -- I hope somewhere that English is not the first language, which brings me to number two...
2. Learn a foreign language. I can understand a lot of Italian and Spanish, but my conversational skills leave much to be desired. I have the Mandarin Chinese disks..maybe I'll pop those in...
3. Ride an elephant in Cambodia, Laos or Thailand. I've always wanted to go there, I'm not sure why.
4. Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef - here's the honest truth...I'm terrified of ocean water. It FREAKS me out, all those things swimming about waiting to attack me..ughhhhhh but the water is clear there and, well, beautiful. I think I could suck it up.
5. Get a book published. Everyone dreams of being published, I just happen to write better than most of them. Okay, kidding...sort of.
6. Serve on the board of a national non-profit organization. My heart has always been with abused/neglected women and I'd love to know that my actions can make a difference.
7. Hike a big mountain. Just sounds like a good idea.
8. Run a marathon. I'm thinking in the next year or so I could check this baby off.
9. Make my own knock of Versace gown. I could do it, it just might take a couple years. Oh and I need a sewing machine.
10. Live in a huge city -- New York, Chicago, LA, Paris, London, Tokyo...where ever.
11. Learn various forms of dance and participate in a dance competition. Salsa, belly dance, ballroom, clog dancing, etc.
12. Run my own business. It might be consulting, it might be an art studio, who knows. Something and something good.
13. Camp out in the Peruvian Amazon.
14. Have tea and crumpets in England.
15. Take the Pride and Prejudice tour. If you know me at all, you know I love P & P.
16. Make a commitment to reconnecting with my Southern heritage. Truth is, I love being Southern. I just need to make it more intrinsic in my personality.
17. Teach a class. Whether it's experimental college or teaching English abroad somewhere, I really want to teach.
18. Go to Vegas. I'm not going to tell you what happens there since it's a rule. I might not even tell you when I go.....okay maybe.
19. Go on a cruise. I'm a big loser, I've never been on one.
20. Attend fashion week. It's going on right now and I'm not there. I don't want another year to go by without me in Bryant Park.
21. Ride a hot air balloon. I'm TERRIFIED of heights...which leads me to my next one....
22. Bungee jumping. I feel like that's on everyone's list...man it gives me anxiety to even type it out. Whew, maybe hold off on that one for a while.
23. Go to tomato fest in Spain.
24. Take a wine tour.

There is 24, for now. Much more to come...I'll follow up with birthday pictures a bit later.

It's been a great long while..

A great many things have happened, a great many things. I've missed talking with you all.

Since we last spoke I made the trek back to Bama from August 14 - 25 it was perfect. I told few people I was coming, so that insured I had more time with my family and time to relax and eat lots of food. I mean, I ate a lot of food. Here's a recap of some of the particular goodies I consumed (I will NOT be putting points values next to these because the thought might depress me):

* Surin West (Tokyo roll, seaweed salad, coconut soup)
* Al's (veggie burger and mint sweet tea - the first and last thing I consumed... I f'ing love it. Although, I tried to be moderately healthy twice and went for the veggie burger without mayo or cheese. Such a mistake. This burger is meant to be consumed in it's full caloric serving. DELISH)
* Silvertron (neighborhood restaurant, but honestly terrible...I don't know why people love that place, it's random and weird http://www.silvertroncafe.net/)
* Ginza Korean BBQ (we went for my mother's birthday and I ate sashimi and seaweed, it was pretty good. Then my dad was telling me how good he heard it was a few days later and I didn't have the heart to tell him I just went, so I ate it twice. The sashimi was frozen the second time around)
* Cantina (the freakin' best shrimp quesdilla in the whole planet. I l-o-v-e it http://www.birminghammenus.com/cantina/....actually all their food is good. I went with my BFF D and my old professional advisor A, who is probably one of the most hilarious people in the planet. Good times, great food.)
* Jim N Nick's BBQ (Now, here's the thing. I go to Jim N Nick's every time I go home but I don't eat meat, so it's kind of weird. I go specifically for the cheese biscuits which melt in your freaking mouth. I brought back some pulled pork for C to eat and taste a bit of home. He said it was good, but I really couldn't say. http://www.jimnnicks.com/)
* Rojo (I love Rojo. I really do. It's a neighborhood outdoor restaurant with a great atmosphere and good flavor. I actually ate the worst thing they probably had on their menu -- not worst in terms of calories but worst in terms of flavor. Pineapple salsa, sounds good right? No, not really. It was stringy and mixed with jalapenos, not what I was expecting. http://www.birminghammenus.com/rojo/ Still good environment
* Taziki's Greek Fare (It's a low key Greek restaurant and I went with my friend R. It was pretty good http://www.bhamdining.com/mediterranean-mideast/2007/6/18/tazikis-greek-fare.html )
* Ridiculous amounts of sweet tea
* Chick-fil-a (might not sound impressive but they don't have them in Seattle. I drank quite a bit of diet lemonade - I love it so much
* Indian Food (At D's engagement party she had so much food and all of it was EXTREMELY spicy but good...there was somosas, curry cheese, all kinds of random, mint naan which was really good)

Picture of me and D at her engagement party. I have no idea why my face looks like that
* Mom's chocolate chip cookies -- OMG, amazing.
* Fried pickles (really made my stomach hurt, but you know, they're pickles and they're fried. What can you really expect?)

As you can see, I ate really well. REALLY well. 3 lbs gained well. But that's alright, I'm back down to my normal weight now...and it was all very much worth it.

Here's a couple cute pictures from my trek home:


Me and A at Metro Bistro.


Me and my bro, J.


My flight was delayed back and I missed my connection in ATL and had to stay overnight in a shady McGee hotel. Ugh. Got back in and went straight to work and had the most hectic week ever this week. One of my client's annual planning meetings and we had a really good dinner at Steelhead Diner -- really recommend it for your Seattlelite locals. It has all northwestern grown or raised food with really rich and hearty flavor for a pretty good price. Located right in the market, here's the web site: http://www.steelheaddiner.com/

This week is going to be insane. I had Friday and today off for the Labor day weekend and I have work tomorrow, then I'll be in Los Angeles for work on Wednesday and then working on Thursday and thennnnnnnnnnnnnn Fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyy isssssssssss myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big 24, better represent.

Alright, peace out. Tired from doing absolutely nothing all day.

I can't remember the last time I slept all day..

The weekend was good...I went out with some friends on Friday night to Purple Cafe (an amazing wine bar in Seattle) and had the most incredible gorgonzola stuffed dates with pine nuts. Basically I would give up every other flavor in my life if I could eat those all of the time. I'm not joking, it's true. They're amazing.

Saturday I watched the Olympics most of the day and went to a bbq at a friend's house on Saturday night with C. We played "Catch Phrase" which I have to tell you is a really fun game. I think I might buy it. I loved it.

Sunday I literally slept and lounged around all freaking day long. I didn't do anything. I drove to West Seattle....that's it. And I found that whole process exhausting. I can't remember the last time I just did nothing. I did jump around a little bit while I was watching the men's relay in swimming last night...I can't believe how close it was...incredible.

I'm going home this week. So happy. I get to drink sweet tea and eat Al's veggie burgers...see my friends and brothers and of course my mom. I can't wait. It's time. It's past time. I hate being this far away sometimes. It's just so hard.

I'll talk more later when I'm not so tired. I'm just going to look a craigslist and catch some zzz. Sorry for the boring post, I'll be exciting later.

This laptop is burning my leg..

When did I become old? When did I become a compulsive complainer? I swear I bitch about the most ridiculous things, EVER. When did I start complaining about loud kids or crappy movies or how tired I am? Or getting up in the morning -- oh wait, I've always complained about that.

It happened fast. All of a sudden I couldn't stay up late or go out all night with friends. All I wanted was to be at home and ready to be in bed by 10 p.m. at the latest. I'm in bed right now, as a matter of fact. Because all of the sudden, I got old.

I hate that I got old. I can't define what it is about me that died, some kind of enthusiasm for life or my ridiculous nature got toned down. Partially I think it's because of the business I'm in or the type of clients I serve. While I have a good time, a lot of the day to day is pretty dry...and some how that's dampened my spirits. The bright nature that once was.

I HATE that.

There are things about me from a year or two ago that I don't miss at all. I was a meddler. I meddled in people's affairs, caused drama, stirred up the pot where ever I could. I killed that behavior after moving to Seattle, which I'm thankful for. Maybe a part of it was growing up and I had to leave town to do it. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I aged past it.

I do miss my wandering spirit, the freedom to roam. The freedom to be me. While I wouldn't say it's been put into some incoherent cavern of my mind completely, it certainly has scaled back. I miss it, but I realize that I might never have it back in full force again. I'm an adult now. I have to learn to live practically. I have to save money and be responsible. So that one day I will be able to have the financial security that comes with being free.

One day....one day I'm going to see the world. I'm going to take it all by storm. I will be back....and you won't hear even a tinge of complaint out of me.

...One more thing...I AM Carrie Bradshaw.

Or at least I would like to follow this advice in addition to the car wash sponge advice you'll find below...

“Eventually all the pieces fall into place....until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.”
-Carrie Bradshaw

Much better than you did in high school...

I posted a new picture up on my facebook page today from Genesee Park. C and I went down there to watch the Blue Angels' show, which was in fact awesome.




In the picture my hair is a mess, I have grass all over me...it's not what I'd call a stellar picture. Funny enough, though, I received a comment on fb from a girl I knew back in high school saying, "Wow, you look so much better than you did."

While I know she didn't mean anything by it except exactly what she said, I think, "Who the hell actually looked good in high school, and if they did look good then which of them still look good now?"

Okay, there are a few exceptions, but not that many that come to top of mind. Anyway, here are things that are different from high school:

* I'm several years older
* 50 lbs lighter
* less acne thanks to Proactive and Jessica Simpson
* A lot less naive
* Not miserable
* slightly less dramatic

I'd like to say I'm more intelligent, but that is to be determined. Talking about high school gets me thinking back though. While high school is/was utterly miserable for the large chunk of us, here are a few things that make me feel nostalgic:

* Being near my best friends
* The predictability of life. Even if you could predict each and every day sucking.
* Simplicity of it all.
* Pep rallies. It's funny to think that pom poms and "chubby bunny" would inspire me feel any level of peppiness. Especially about football.
* My old high school principal. He had the best sayings EVER. "Don't be late in '98." "Be on time in '99." "Don't be slow in double 0." And my favorite, "Miss Randazza, why don't you get on to class and soak up lots of knowledge like a giant car wash sponge."

Ahhh, Mr. C. Such great advice has rarely been seen. In fact, I think I'm going to make that my goal for the next month. I am going to soak up as much knowledge as I can "like a giant car wash sponge." That way when someone says something like "how did you ever overcome being the ugliest person ever since high school?" maybe then I'll have soaked up enough wit to say something snide back.


Meh. Goodnight.

It's account executive to you, foo.

My promotion was announced. I wanted to tell you all sooner, but I couldn't. Top secret information. But now that it's out in the open I can squeal with deeeelliggghhhtt *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

I'd like to say this means more responsibility, and maybe it will. I fortunately/unfortunately was given a lot to begin with, so I guess my title is just catching up with me in a way. Anyway, it's still neat-o.

You can send my congratulatory presents (I really like Jimmy Choo shoes, Miu Miu will work fine, too) to:


Jessica THE Account Executive
123 The House of Awesome
Seattle, WA


I look forward to your gifts. I'll also take Harry Winston diamonds, if you're offering. I prefer them in the 6 karat persuasion or higher.

Alright. Time to go to bed. I have to take my cousin (he's leaving, it's been a freaking month already) to the airport at 4 a.m. and then I have a conference call for work at 6:30 a.m. Niggggggggggght.

I burnt my tongue on coffee...

Many of you know Seattle for it's magnitude of coffee and being headquarters to the largest coffee chain in the world - Starbucks. While I'm not a Starbucks advocate, before I moved here I was what we'd call "anti" Starbucks. And while I'd like to say that I still am, living in such a close proximity to something you're against kinda breaks you down. There are literally Starbucks every three blocks, how can you avoid it? Plus their chai is del-ish.

So in Birmingham there is a small independent coffee shop called Lucy's. While I admit to never visiting Lucy's, it appears to have it's charm for locals and regulars, what you'd expect from a mom and pop coffee shop. When Starbucks moved into Birmingham in 2001, they set up their first shop on the corner of 11th and 20th, the heart of 5 points. Later, they set up a shop on 4th and 20th in the hospital district. Lucy's resides on University(or 8th if you'd prefer) and 20th, in the middle of it all. About a two years ago a Starbucks moved in next to Lucy's causing concern amongst its patrons. I, being a fair weather follower of the "crunchy granola" lifestyle, was angry that this corporation could destroy such a quaint business without a concern.

It wasn't until I moved to Seattle that I had my first cup of Starbucks after that. Hovering over my warm cup of chai on a rainy, cold Seattle February, I walked down University Way looking at the store fronts and getting acquainted with what this city had to offer. It was at that moment, sipping my grande non-fat chai, clinging to its warm, I knew I made the right choice. Not by breaking down my moral convictions to drink Starbucks, but for moving to the place where it all began. Moving to Seattle. At that moment, I knew I made the right choice.

The great northwest outdoors..

I'd be lying to you if I told you I was ever enthusiastic about spending a weekend without showering, roughing it in the great outdoors. Living in the northwest for the past year and a half has given me a slight change of heart. I enjoy the river, the rolling hills, untamed peaks and the evergreen this state has to offer. The air really is cleaner here.

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending my time camping with some of my friends in Eastern Washington near Ellensburg. My friend, CP, is moving away to Chicago for law school and we went to celebrate his departure. CP was my first friend when I moved here and he introduced me to all of my friends here. He truly made my life here a pleasure.

CP is a rare breed. He's always upbeat, always in a good mood. He does ridiculous things and wants everything to be alright. He brings out the best in everyone. He's a good heart and a great friend.

I have had some of the best times with CP. Last year we had a weekend celebration on a island in Portland called "Skull Island", we have had several trips to Spokane and good times in Seattle. CP helped me to want to be nicest to people, to be kinder, to see the good. All of my laughter here, all of the good is either a direct or indirect result of him, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's given me. He will truly be missed.

So, when he asked our group of friends to spend a few days without showers in the outdoors, I obviously couldn't say no. C and I gathered up our tent and sleeping bags, packed food and headed off over Snoqualmie Pass into the rolling hills of Eastern Washington. We spent Friday night hanging out by the fire and talking, reminiscing of the days of yesteryear. Saturday we floated the river for awhile and chatted again, played some boggle, walked around. Sunday floated again, chatted some more and said our goodbyes.

Without CP I wouldn't have made the move to Seattle. Without CP, I wouldn't have had one of the best years of my life. Without CP I would have never fallen in love with the great northwest outdoors.

Thanks CP for all that you've done in my life. You will kick ass in school and be around to defend me when I start living life on the edge in three years.

I want to be on Rachael Ray...soo much.

I filled out something to be on the Rachael Ray show. The producer called me and requested more pictures. They said they'd call again if they want me.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Tired of this thing called life

It's amazing how you can just get exhausted with life, isn't it? I don't know how I got to be so tired with it, but I am.

I don't feel depressed, I don't feel hopeless, I don't have any of those kinds of feelings. I'm just tired. Tired, tired, tired.

A weekend full of random things to do doesn't seem like it's the cure to make it any better, either. But, I have a packed weekend. Bite of Seattle tonight, Mariners' game tomorrow, C's dad's on Sunday.

I'll talk later, I'm too tired to write.

My Mom Rocks Socks

I own a pair of socks that say in bold pink lettering "My Mom Rocks." When I get home I'm going to put them on. Because, afterall, that is in fact the truth.

A cat named Susan...

I love the way my cat shows her sweet crazy affection, how she cuddles close to you but it's always very much on her terms. Susan is named after my best friend, and it always astounds me how much they're alike. Even though they've never met, and are approximately 1,505 miles apart, the two Susans comfort me with their standoffish affection that I've always found endearing.

Having cat Susan has been a tremendous comfort and I see so much of my best friend in her.

How I lucked out with such good friends, I'll never know, but I most certainly did.

My best friend "Susan" lives in Phoenix, but I grew up across the street from her. She was two years older than me, and I absolutely adored her. She was many things that I wasn't -- creative, hardworking and smart.

While we were growing up, she was always coming up with new money making schemes -- we made bookmarks once, beaded flag pins, lemonade stands, kool-aid stands -- she was a entrepreneur from the start.

I have 1,000s of favorite memories of her, but one of my favorites is every summer in our backyards looking for hours for four leaf clovers. "Susan" is/was a competitor and the second I found a four leaf clover, she found a five, I'd find a six, she'd find a seven, I'd find an eight, she'd find a 10. We pressed all of our four leaf clovers into the encyclopedias in her parents room, there must be hundreds of them still there to this day.

When she moved away to New Orleans for college, I was devastated. I felt like my limbs were ripped off my body and for the next year I felt completely lost. She stayed with me the summer I moved to Boston, and I felt renewed for a time, then she moved back to school and we were further apart then ever. I went to school in Alabama, and she finished up and moved away to Phoenix. She got married over a year a half ago.

When I graduated from college a month after her wedding, she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to come due to the expense of her wedding, and she cried to me over the phone one night, "I'd come if I could, you know I would."

"Of course I know that, don't worry, it's not a big deal," I told her.

She dropped it and a couple days later she called again crying. "I can't believe I won't be there for you, I should be, I would if I could."

On my graduation day, during the procession, my phone rang and it was my mom. She told me to turn around and wave so that she could find me in the sea of black caps and gowns. When I turned around I squinted to the other side of the arena, and found the blob of my family in the crowd and then honed in on a familiar face next to my mom. It was my best friend, who flew cross country just to see me walk across a stage.

It breaks my heart to say I haven't seen her since December 18, 2006. We speak frequently and the phone calls make up some of the distance. Even when we go awhile without talking we pick up the phone again like we left off no time at all.

About a year ago she got a dog and named it after me. She said it was sweet and wanted to please everyone, so she couldn't think of a better name than "Rose."

Shortly after, I started feeling a void in my life, needing comfort that only my best friend can give, C and I went to the Seattle Animal Shelter and found Susan. Her crazy glares, her stand offish behavior, her comfort on her terms, every interaction comforts me to know that I found some of my best friend in a cat named Susan.

Word a day

So I am working with my cousin to do a word a day while he's here. It's amazing to me that 1. He doesn't know how to spell words like "jealous" or "choice" and 2. That he doesn't know what the word "optimistic" means. I mean seriously, what kind of education are kids getting these days?

I had a voluminous vocabulary by the time I was in third grade for cripes' sake.

Word for today:

misoneism
PRONUNCIATION:
(mis-uh-NEE-izm)

MEANING:
noun: A hatred or fear of change or innovation.


Thank you word-a-day web site. You are my hero.

Time keeps passing by..

Sorry my entries seem to be getting less frequent, even though I think about writing often. I've come up with funny little posts that I imagine writing about. Here are some of the things I meant to write this week, but didn't:

* Bergdorf Goodman, give me all your shoes
* Daily Candy how I love thee
* Happy Independence Day, don't blow yourself up
* Seattle is only sunny when I'm inside...at work
* I don't know how anyone manages one teenager, let alone multiple
* I fainted
* TacoBell, I love thee and you used to make me run to the boarder of Ballard, now I don't have to run I can just hobble with my gooey cheesy gordita legs down to the boarder of my street (they're moving in one block away from work and one block away from home...I'm going to try not to get fat by walking on the other side of the street)

Well, that's about the excitement in my life. My cousin has been staying with us for exactly one week and he is probably one of the sweetest teenagers, ever, but Jesus are they sarcastic. I thought I was sarcastic, but man, you teenagers have this *ish* figured OUT. On top of that they *NEED* things. Need to be fed, need their clothes washed, need showers, need sleep, need attention. Who knew. I certainly didn't. Such a good kid, I'm lucky he's so good.

There are more things to come on the horizon, soon, I just am not at liberty to discuss at present. Good things.

In other good news that I can discuss, my best friend D, is getting married. I'm going back to Bama for her engagement party and to hang out with the fam Aug 14 - 24. Make your reservations for my time now. Time slots are filling up quickly.

Alright. Well, I'm off to my friend C's to have mojitos and chili.

Italian Family Reunion

So C and I make the trek across the country for my family reunion which was exactly what I needed to unwind from the work grind. We took an overnight flight last Wednesday, arriving into Boston's Logan International Airport at 7:30 am.

My cousin, N, picked us up from the airport. Due my demanding nature and extreme withdrawels of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, we headed straight for Dunks to pick up a medium iced hazelnut coffee. A-mazing. I drank the entire thing in basically three minutes flat and started to sip on N's Iced Mocha Latte. Now, I'm loyal to my hazelnut coffee, but that mocha latte was WW's worst nightmare. That 16 oz beverage claims 270 calories and 5 grams of fat - 1 gram of fiber. 6 points for pure delight. Way to go DD. America runs on you.

We headed back to my grandparents house and immediately dug into breakfast and I didn't remove the fork from my hand until I left on Sunday evening. While I was there I induldged in the following items:
* French Toast
* Italian Wedding Cookies
* DD coffee
* Thumb print cookies
* Eggplant parmesan
* Manicotti
* DD coffee
* Sandwiches of all flavors and persuasions
* Fish cakes
* DD coffee
* Funnel Cake
* Shrimp casserole
* Fritatta
* DD coffee
* Fried eggplant with tuna fish inside (do NOT ask)
* Cheese, cheese and cheese
* Caesar salad
* Slush
* Caramel apples
* Peach Salsa

Amazingly enough I stepped on the scale and lost 1/2 a lb while I was there. I think my body is in a temporary coma and it will hit the scale full force tomorrow at weigh in.

I honestly had a really great time. My family is truly extraordinary. I got to spend a good deal of time with my cousin, N. We dressed alike the whole time and I have to admit, I really liked it. It was kinda cheesy, fun, cute. She's moving to Florida at the end of this week to live with a boyfriend in Sarasota. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried, but I think it will be good for her to get outside of Gloucester for awhile.

I saw my dad and my brothers. How in Christ's sake did I end up with such good brothers? I don't even begin to know, but thank goodness I did. It's amazing to have two siblings (J and My Master *S*)that love me as much as they do. I didn't get to talk to J as much as I would have liked since his friends were in town, but he and C went on a bike ride and got to spend some time together so that's good. S and I talked some, he really is a great bro, even though you left a f'ing bruise on my arm.

My aunts and uncles are great as well. All of them are exceptionally unique and are extraordinarily giving in each of their own ways. I've always hated that I don't talk to them as much as I'd like, and I am really going to try to make a conscious effort to get better about it. I want to be a part of their lives and my cousin's lives...I want them to be a part of mine. I've missed out on a lot of that.

And my grandparents. Truly amazing people. My grandmother stressed for days about what to feed me and then waited until two hours before I left to let me know that I had veggie burgers in the freezer. Hahaha, that woman CRACKS me up.

While I was there I also got to see my best friend who is now living in Providence. It was just so nice to be near her. She will always be the closest thing to a sister and admittedly I feel like a huge part of me is missing without her around.

Anyway, good trip.

Now, my 15 year old cousin, M from the other side of the family is staying with me for the month of July. It's going to be a busy, busy summer.


Enjoy the pics...


Me and N


Me and C


Me, My bro (My Master S), N


My bro S, J, and Me


Me and Dad



Me, Dad and J


N, my amazing Nonna and Me -- Can you believe that N wouldn't let us dress alike to go out to a dance club with her friends? I mean, seriously. I could have gotten us two of those sparkley shirts and we would have been all set.


N, my cousin B and Me


N and Me

Okay, good day and good night. I'm off to hang out with the boys at a skateboarding shop. Wooo.