Remembering You

Micah Bonner was an outlier in my life. Someone who sits in the background, waving his hands furiously every so often to get me to turn my head and notice him. Whenever I turned to look at him, he made me laugh and smile. He made me feel incredibly important. He took care of my best friend D, and took the edge of me worrying about her. He gave and gave his constant comfort and positive energy -- someone I can honestly say I never saw be negative. He was everyone's cheerleader. He demonstrated how to live.

One of my favorite memories of Micah was the summer before my freshman year in college. I had just moved back down from Boston and he was eager to hang out again.

After a long game of frolf, we went to a playground nearby his house and he forced me to do the spider swinging with him. I was hesitant to do it. I just knew it'd break.

I remember him saying "Just because you're getting old Jessica doesn't mean you can't have fun. Live, Jess, live."

I climbed on to the swing with him and sure enough it broke. We both tumbled into the sand beneath us, turned over and looked at each other and laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

In the more recent past I remember hanging out with him at his apartment talking about nothing. When the conversation turned to a serious talk about our futures he pulled out a clown mask. He put it on.

He turned toward me with a cool expression, lit a cigarette and smoked it through the mask. I started to smile. He said, "Now, Jessica, let's be serious. Do you think I'd make a good clown?"



Yes, Micah, you made a great clown. You made me happy. You made D happy. I will remember you always, as jovial and upbeat. Thank you for teaching me to take to laugh, teaching me to live.

May you forever rest in peace.