This laptop is burning my leg..

When did I become old? When did I become a compulsive complainer? I swear I bitch about the most ridiculous things, EVER. When did I start complaining about loud kids or crappy movies or how tired I am? Or getting up in the morning -- oh wait, I've always complained about that.

It happened fast. All of a sudden I couldn't stay up late or go out all night with friends. All I wanted was to be at home and ready to be in bed by 10 p.m. at the latest. I'm in bed right now, as a matter of fact. Because all of the sudden, I got old.

I hate that I got old. I can't define what it is about me that died, some kind of enthusiasm for life or my ridiculous nature got toned down. Partially I think it's because of the business I'm in or the type of clients I serve. While I have a good time, a lot of the day to day is pretty dry...and some how that's dampened my spirits. The bright nature that once was.

I HATE that.

There are things about me from a year or two ago that I don't miss at all. I was a meddler. I meddled in people's affairs, caused drama, stirred up the pot where ever I could. I killed that behavior after moving to Seattle, which I'm thankful for. Maybe a part of it was growing up and I had to leave town to do it. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I aged past it.

I do miss my wandering spirit, the freedom to roam. The freedom to be me. While I wouldn't say it's been put into some incoherent cavern of my mind completely, it certainly has scaled back. I miss it, but I realize that I might never have it back in full force again. I'm an adult now. I have to learn to live practically. I have to save money and be responsible. So that one day I will be able to have the financial security that comes with being free.

One day....one day I'm going to see the world. I'm going to take it all by storm. I will be back....and you won't hear even a tinge of complaint out of me.