My landlord is asking for it....

I want to thump the heck out of my landlord. Thump him hard. For those of you that don't know the term "thumping" it means to forcefully flick -- something I picked up thanks to my two older brothers...my oldest brother is really good at thumping as I recall. If not thump my landlord then I'd like to take apart a disposable camera and shock him with it repeatedly. Another trick I learned from my brothers.

I woke up this morning and I had no hot water. I remember thinking as I got in bed last night "Jess, just take a shower now so you can sleep in..." I couldn't be convinced, though and I woke up up early this am to find that the only hot thing in my house was my festering anger. It isn't on this one incident alone that has left me with bitterness. Here's the *short* list of things that I would like my landlord to fix:

* My shower head spits out water and lacking in water pressure which he promised to fix before I moved in in November. Liar.
* A missing baseboard by my door. Also promised to fix -- liar twice.
* An outlet in my living room not working, which doesn't seem like a big deal but I am sorely lacking in outlets.
* Eyes on my stove don't work. Don't ask me to cook Thanksgiving dinner unless you plan on bringing over your camping burners.
* The bathroom sink drain stopper is broken.
* Needs a paint job soooo bad.
* My bathroom door won't close.
* My front door needs to be cut down because it drags on the carpet hard every time I open it...it's sooooo irritating.

Alright, that's enough. Just let's just say I'm cranky and dirty this morning. And if I see him walking around...THUMP. I've complained about some of these things before and I'm half tempted to say if they don't fix them then I want my rent lowered $100 a month. Yeah, I know, as if.

Enough whining, back to work.