It is hard to work backward when time moves forward

So I feel no good today. I suppose that's normal when you start off an hour conversation with the person you love about how much you need to move on. Truth is, I don't want to move on. I've always been capable of moving on pretty speedily but for some reason, I can't kick these feelings. I haven't waivered from loving him...but he gave up the second I got on the plane and that hurts. A lot.

I have to try and make things before I spiral into complete and utter misery. I can't change it now. All I can do is move forward and pray that time will reveal to me truths. I hate myself for never letting me see the whole truth, I only ever wait to see the half truth and then I develop the rest of it with my own thoughts. I need to stop doing that. It gets me into trouble.

I do have some ridiculously good news, though. Lisa is coming today! She called me yesterday to let me know she booked a ticket to come see me for the weekend and I am bursting with excitement. It will feel so incredible to have a friend here...it will make me feel at home. I will definitely be taking lots and lots of pictures of our adventures throughout the weekend and make them available to you ASAP. Along with some glorious shots of my house.

Time to work. Time to move forward. Time to breathe. Time to live.